she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
