At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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