Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
