ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize