I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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