im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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