he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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