My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
