can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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