my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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