He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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