Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
