Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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