i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Why did my mother make you get naked?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize