her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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