Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
