Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
