I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
