one might say we're banned from that church
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
