I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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