what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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