They should really pass out barf bags in church
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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