break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
