Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
