i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
