my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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