She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
