How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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