Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
