So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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