The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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