Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
