Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize