Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
