all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Ketchup is God's man juice
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
