Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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