I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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