Me too!
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize