i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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