You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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