I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
