you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize
