im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
