whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
