i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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