This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
