I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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