At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
either way he was missing a nipple.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
