I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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