the day after is always just damage control
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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