I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
