if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize