tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
bring money and cleavage
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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