Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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