Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
