"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize