Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
