I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
