If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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