I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
