Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
