took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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