i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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