so that wasnt chicken after all
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize