her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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