If that was your dad, he is hot
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
