i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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