Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
