I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
